Cameron: Where did that come from?
Phil: Life's too short to be ruled by fear. What do you say we get you the right dryer, princess?
Cameron: Oh, my.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: I mean, Phil is usually just so... But then he was just, like, so... And then he got even more...

Rob: There's nothing I can do.
Phil: I can't go for that.
Cameron: No can do.
Phil: Cameron here bought an eggshell dryer.
Cameron: Not white, not oatmeal, not Swiss-coffee, not baby-powder, not bone.
Phil: Eggshell. Look, Rob, is it? That's interesting. Here's how this is going down... We don't leave without that eggshell dryer.
Cameron: Not swan-feather, not Chester-pig-white.
Phil: I think we've covered the colors. I sell houses to people every day who ask me where they should buy their dryer. I don't think you want me giving them any... static.
Ronaldo: I may have one in the back. But it takes two guys to load the truck, and it's just me today.
Phil: Is it?

Cameron: [aside to camera] It was right about then that a question started nagging at me. ... Is Phil sexy?

Phil: Hey. You feel like doing something a little crazy with me?
Cameron: What? No. What? No.

Phil: Cam, there's something that Claire would never approve of that I've always wanted to do.
Cameron: Always?
Phil: We're gonna want to put a blanket down on that backseat.

Haley: Mom, dad! There is a camel in the living room!

Phil: I see you've all met Jolene two. Sadly, the original Jolene that your mother made me return was cruelly adopted by a children's hospital. You see, something hit me this morning when that truck didn't hit me this morning I have not been in control of my own life. But those days are done. [knocks over glass of milk] Huh. Well, I guess I'm not in control of everything, am I? Funny, isn't it? You can try and try, but in the blink of an eye... [sobbing] You can lose everything that matters to you.

Mitchell: [on the phone] Yes, I would like to leave a message. My husband ordered an eggshell dryer. Not talc, not parchment, eggshell.