‘The Day Alex Left for College’
Season 7, Episode 2 - Aired September 30, 2015
Phil and Claire feel their children moving away from them when Alex lies about the date she's moving to college to avoid a big fuss, and Luke seems less than thrilled to spend the day with Phil at an open house. Meanwhile, Jay and family try to get out of attending Lily's soccer game, while Mitchell and Cameron are feeling stressed about being landlords and soccer coaches.
Quote from Joe
Mitchell: Oh, but you guys, you still showed up anyway.
Claire: Of course!
Manny: Without a doubt.
Joe: Mommy shot Jay.
Mitchell: I'm sorry, what? I thought you said-
Joe: Yeah, mommy shot Jay. Aunt Claire said, "shoot him."
Quote from Gloria
Mitchell: Dad. You would rather take a bullet than support your granddaughter?
Jay: This was really Gloria's idea.
Gloria: I'm surrounded by rats.
Quote from Mitchell
Referee: Second half, girls.
Mitchell: Oh, god. Okay. Intermission's over.
Quote from Manny
Claire: Okay, so we all agree. Everybody gets a free pass once a year to miss a kid event.
Mitchell: Ooh, I heard Luke might be forming a boy band, so I want to get out in front of that.
Manny: Great! That means you'll be available for my one-man quick-change version of "Seven Brides For Seven Brothers."
Mitchell: I'm gonna change my vote.
Cameron: Yeah, put me down for missing that, too.
Manny: No, but you don't understand. I-I play all the brides and all the brothers.
Claire: Make it three.
Manny: But you'll come, right, Jay?
[Jay eats a nibble so his mouth is full]