Sonia: [holding laundry basket] Where is the river?

Gloria: Sonia, can I help you?
Pilar: No, no, she's fine. It keeps her busy.
Sonia: We need more corn. Gloria, where is your garden? I will harvest some.
Pilar: They don't live that way, honey. Gloria, give me the keys. We'll go to the market.

Sonia: Jay, if anything should happen to Gloria, I am there for you.
Gloria: What, Sonia? What's going to happen to me?
Sonia: You might go for a walk in your closet one day and never come back!

Gloria: Sonia, please, let us do this for you. I really want you to be happy. Can you forgive me?
Sonia: It will take some time.
Gloria: As much as you need.
Sonia: And some dresses.
Gloria: As many as you want.
Sonia: And some shoes.
Gloria: You're angry now.

Gloria: I want you to wear something beautiful tonight. So please, choose.
Sonia: What is this room?
Gloria: This is the closet.
Sonia: So all the people of the town, they leave their nice clothes with you?
Gloria: No. These are all my clothes. But I do miss the simple things at home.

Gloria: How are things in the village?
Sonia: We had a flood.
Gloria: Ay, but it- It wasn't a bad one, right?
Sonia: We had a boat.
Gloria: Ay, that's great.
Sonia: We had a boat.

Gloria: Are you dating anyone?
Sonia: You remember Antonio Marquez?
Gloria: Yes, of course. The most handsome boy in the school with those beautiful eyes.
Sonia: His father with the wooden leg... He lost it in the flood.
Gloria: So is it serious?

Jay: I'd like to tell you the story of how I came to meet my incredible wife, because up until the birth of this child, it's the best thing that ever happened to me.
Claire: Mm, that feels good huh?
Jay: So it's morning. My car's getting waxed. I hop in the diner. I hear this adorable accent. I turn. I see this pretty girl talking to her friend. I send over a piece of pie.
Phil: All class.
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Jay: Couple of minutes later, who comes over to thank me but Gloria, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Phil: Amen.
Jay: She sits down, we start talking, and we haven't stopped talking since. But here's the crazy part. I didn't send the pie to Gloria. Her back was to me. I sent it to her friend, who went to the bathroom and missed it. And that person is here today, Gloria's sister Sonia.
Phil: Isn't it funny how a simple twist of fate can change the whole-
Sonia: You stole my life! [attacking Gloria]

Sonia: Hola, Jay.
Jay: Oh, hey Sonia.
Sonia: I see Gloria's avoiding me. She's still mad because I forwarded her that mass e-mail.
Jay: Could be that, or it could be the last time you saw her, you tried to steal me and kill her.

Sonia: So, how is my sister?
Jay: Fantastic. Great. 'Course, with Joe and also her hot-sauce business, she got a lot on her plate. Hey, have you tried one of these Mexican cookies?
Sonia: They just call them cookies. I'll speak with Gloria later. [holding a gift-wrapped machete] I have to drop this at the gift table. [a man walks by with a machete] Great.