Ronaldo: Mitchell! I love this house! Do you love it? Say you love it.
Mitchell: I do. I love it. I love the flow. I love the lights. I love the location. There... There's even a karaoke room in the basement.
Ronaldo: [gasps] So fun! The last time I had a hot Mike in my basement... You know what? I'm gonna wait till there are more people here.
Mitchell: Oh, oh, the baby's awake. Do... Do you want to meet him?
Ronaldo: I do. I can ask him if he liked our gift. We never heard.

Mitchell: I-I think we have to fire Pepper.
Ronaldo: That would kill him. He's on the brink as it is.
Mitchell: Why?
Ronaldo: Since the proposition ocho was overturned, he's done 50 gay weddings. The man is exhausted, searching for new ideas.
Mitchell: You said "ocho" and then you said "50."
Ronaldo: You see? Gays are so nit-picky. In a straight wedding, you just have to please the bride, but the gays have such strong opinions! It takes a toll on a great artist like Pepper Saltzman.

Ronaldo: Mm, I'm going to miss this beautiful diva. Her tummy can get a little fussy, so if you're ever wondering what to cook for her, just ask yourself, "What would Patti LuPone eat?"

Cameron: Okay, before I do more, does this look natural?
Ronaldo: That's a tricky word because the color orange does appear in nature.

Ronaldo: But you can have both. Casual elegance, classic with a twist.
Mitchell & Cameron: Go on.
Ronaldo: I'd start with raw, natural-linen table runners to bring the two worlds together. We eschew the classic round tables for rectangular farm tables, but keep the setting clean and modern. And then-
Both: Yes!
Ronaldo: No, I mustn't. This is wrong. Pepper is my boss and my mentor!
Cameron: Oh, and he's our friend. What are we doing?
Mitchell: We- We got caught up. We gave in to temptation.
Ronaldo: I-I should go.
Mitchell: Don't!
Ronaldo: I must. Vintage handkerchiefs for the guests to cry into. [Mitchell and Cameron gasp]
Mitchell: Ronaldo, wait!
Ronaldo: French bistro stemless wine glasses. I've said too much.

Cameron: Let's just ask him to let Ronaldo take the lead.
Mitchell: And- And risk hurting Pepper? For all we know, Ronaldo hasn't even given us a second thought.
Ronaldo: [entering] I couldn't stop thinking about you. What happened here yesterday was real.
Cameron: Oh, Ronaldo! We felt it, too.
Mitchell: But what about Pepper?
Ronaldo: I left him.
Cameron: What?
Ronaldo: It's over. He doesn't look at me the way you do.
Mitchell: Ohh, this is all happening so fast.
Ronaldo: For me, too. But my heart was racing when I left here. You are my muses-es.

Cameron: Pepper, do you hear what Ronaldo is saying?
Pepper: Of course I do. I'm not a fool. He thinks I can't set a table.
Mitchell: No.
Cameron: No, no, no. Ronaldo is in love with you. Go to him.
Pepper: What? You're in love with me?
Ronaldo: Si­. It is true. Yes.
Mitchell: God, that would drive me crazy.

Pepper: Ronaldo, I-I don't know what to say. I mean, of course, when I hired you, I found you very attractive. That's why I hire all my people. But I I never thought you would find me...
Ronaldo: Perfecto? Because that's what you are. Perfect.
Mitchell: No. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I can't.

Ronaldo: Happy wedding day!
Mitchell: What are you doing here?
Ronaldo: You pay for a full-service wedding, you get our full packages.
Pepper: Ohh. Close, honey. So close.

Pepper: Are you gonna finish this? They didn't budget a staff meal.
Ronaldo: It's our own fault we're poor. When we had money, we spent it all on drunken sailors.
Cameron: You mean "like drunken sailors"?
Ronaldo: Sure.