‘Ringmaster Keifth’
Season 8, Episode 10 - Aired January 4, 2017
After his Thanksgiving culinary debacle, Cameron decides to treat the family to a New Year's Day feast with a whole roasted pig. When the meal threatens to become another disaster, Cameron convinces Mitchell to use his "concierge gift card" to requisition a replacement pig. Unfortunately, the concierge turns out to be Cameron's ex-boyfriend, Keifth, who left without saying goodbye. Meanwhile, Phil is uncomfortable when his dad, Frank, comes to town with Phil's former babysitter. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria confront the difficult question of who should raise Joe if anything were to happen to them.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Oh, we forgot to put the apple the new pig's mouth.
Keifth Banks: Oh, just leave it.
Cameron: Now that's your answer to everything, isn't it?
Keifth Banks: I deserve that. I was a fool to think I could get through this without you bringing up the way I left.
Cameron: Well, you broke my heart.
Keifth Banks: I didn't mean to hurt you, Cameron. I just had to protect myself. When we first met, you were just pure, raw potential. Your Missouri twang. The innocent way your shirt cuffs were no different than your sleeves. Once you emerged from your country cocoon, I knew it was just a matter of time before you realized you could do better and moved on.
Cameron: But you never even said goodbye. For all these years, I-I thought it was my fault.
Keifth Banks: Oh, no. No. I was a coward. I just ran away to join another circus.
Mitchell: I suppose you could say the the one ring you never mastered was the ring of life.
Keifth Banks: Well, that's kind of mean, but sure.
Quote from Cameron
Keifth Banks: And look at your beautiful home. Oh, it's- You've blossomed into the success I always knew you'd be.
Cameron: Correct.
Keifth Banks: I did so enjoy our time together, Cameron. Remember that split week between Lansing and Kalamazoo?
Cameron: Oh, my gosh, how could I forget? The rain dripping on the canvas. Me sneaking into your wagon after curfew.
Keifth Banks: I believe that was the first time you saw me without my top hat.
Mitchell: Okay. Well, wounds healed, whole new perspective, off you go.
Keifth Banks: Goodbye, Cameron.
Cameron: Goodbye, Keifth.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [to Alex] I'm just gonna need you to spit into this napkin. [to Mitchell] EpiPen is on the way.
Mitchell: Just keep the card.