Gloria Quote #860

Quote from Gloria in Dead on A Rival

Manny: It's from Dad. "I'm almost there."
Gloria: If "almost there" was a place, Javier would be the mayor. [Joe laughs]
Manny: Please stop taking pot shots at his expense.
Gloria: Pot shots are the only thing that we can take at his expense. [Joe laughs]
Manny: I mean it, Mom. You've even poisoned Joe.
Joe: You mean with her cooking?
Gloria: Hey, we're only making fun of Javier!
Manny: No, we're not. Promise me.
Gloria: Okay, fine, I promise. If my good-natured ribbing is making you uncomfortable, I will refrain.
Jay: I've got her on Word a Day cards. We'll see how long it holds.

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 ‘Dead on A Rival’ Quotes

Quote from Javier

Manny: Hey, Dad!
Javier: There's my boy! [laughs] Whee! Someone has been wearing my custom-made cologne... Javier! For the man who wants to smell a little bit like a woman.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Today, our old neighbor-turned-tech-titan, Kenneth, is coming to visit. And he says he has a "big surprise" for me. I don't know if the super rich have access to time travel, but if they do, I'm going back to the '90s.
Claire: Ooh, to buy a whole bunch of Amazon stock?
Phil: No! I'm going to tell Felicity not to cut her hair.

 Gloria Delgado Quotes

Quote from Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Unplugged

Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!