Cameron Quote #1342
Cameron: See, this is why I kept it a secret. Here I was, worried about you all ruining Christmas, and... now I've done it. I'm sorry, everyone.
Manny: You have no reason to be sorry.
Cameron: Yes, I do. I break up families. I'm Liz Taylor.
Mitchell: Why is it never a man?
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Oh, and help yourself to a gingerbread person. They're both gluten and gender free.
Mitchell: Oh. Isn't they a cutie?
Quote from Haley
Mitchell: Do you really think that Cam's parents bought him a first-class ticket?
Haley: Aren't they poor? Don't they, like, eat plants and animals they find in their yard?
Mitchell: They're farmers, yes.
Quote from Dylan
Dylan: Oh, hey, can you move Haley away from me and the twins? My present to her is the night off from Mommy duties, so...
Cameron: Okay, well, I would've appreciated a little heads-up, but it's a thoughtful gift, so...
Dylan: It's also free, which is helpful because I forgot my ATM pin last summer. Any chance I ever mentioned my four favorite numbers to you?
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.