Luke Quote #485

Quote from Luke in Tree's A Crowd

Luke: I couldn't talk to Sherry before the show, so I had to sit through it. The first sketch was so bad, I tried to bail, but they locked the doors. Then she walked on the stage... or should I say, the first octopus President
walked on stage.
[flashback:]
Luke: [laughs] Look. She's signing eight bills at once. [laughs]
Sherry: And I'll never run out of ink.
[back:]
Luke: Her performance was a Tour de France. She was like a hot, girl version of my dad.

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 ‘Tree's A Crowd’ Quotes

Quote from Cameron

[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Eh, there comes a point in every gay man's life when a lesbian couple asks him for his sperm.
Cameron: Unless you're Mitchell and me.
Mitchell: Yeah.
Cameron: All of our friends have been asked, while we have been cruelly overlooked.
Mitchell: It's painful. It's like not getting picked to play kickball.
Cameron: Well, that never happened to me. I was my kickball team's captain. Well, only after our star broke his leg and had to be put down. He was a...
Mitchell: A mule. From a mile away.

Quote from Jay

Jay: It wasn't gonna work out with Sherry anyway. She's Canadian. They have ducks on their money. They sell milk in a bag.

Quote from Phil

Claire: Honey, what are you doing?
Phil: I just saw this incredible telekinesis video. I'm trying to make a piece of bacon levitate.
Claire: Don't you have to, I don't know, work?
Phil: Are you saying it'll never happen? Is there perhaps a more colorful way of saying that?
Claire: I know you're trying to get me to say "It'll happen when pigs fly."
Phil: That counts. [gasps; lifts bacon] What? Oh, my gosh!