Phil Quote #1789
Phil: [aside to camera] It was simplicity itself. A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time that I couldn't scare her, so I came up with a plan. I'd just sold a house to a European couple that weren't gonna take possession for a while, so, uh, last fall, "Ida Mae" moved in. Fortunately, the house was right on Claire's jogging route, so it was easy to introduce Claire to Ida Mae, and when I wanted to amp it up, I had Ida Mae make contact. Then, this morning... I knew that ax wouldn't scare Claire. I just did that so she'd accuse me of not being able to scare her.
Claire: It's all about plausability.
Phil: Damn right, it is. Over the past year, Ida Mae joined the neighborhood association, hung up a poster for her lost dog, signed up for Meals on Wheels. They're not bad, by the way. Also, she got a lot of knitting done.
Features in the collection: Halloween Quotes.
Cameron: I'm trying to get Wi-Fi so I can watch the pumpkin weigh-in at the Halloween festival back home. You know, 25 years ago, I raised the largest Wichita Thumper, and the record still stands. I am so sorry. There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
Gloria: No, no, you just did fine.
Cameron: You know, as with every pumpkin, there's a story. It was a cold, bitter night, when tap-tap-tap on the window. Darn if it wasn't the vine of my pumpkin, just out there trembling away.
Gloria: That is a great story.
Cameron: Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin through the window, careful, of course, not to break the vine. And for months, it just became a part of our household. People stepping over it to get into the kitchen, blocked half the TV. We thought "The Brady Bunch" was just about three lovely girls. [chuckles] Oh, but nobody complained. Sure, I won Grand Champion, you know, and the right to name the next tornado. But the thing I remember most are the sacrifices [voice breaking] my family made for just me. That's how we do family where I'm from.
Gloria: [inhales sharply] That's how we do family where I am from!
Phil: Oh, I'm sorry, Claire. Did I scare you?
Claire: [gasps] You did this?
Claire: How long have you planned this...
Phil: 11 months, two weeks, and three days ago, I gave birth to Ida Mae Mann. Because I da main man.
Claire: Oh, don't you dare do word play, Phil.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Wow. This place has changed. It used to be so much... gayer.
Mitchell: Straight people always take our best stuff. First, they came for our brunches, and I said nothing.
Quote from En Garde
Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot