Jay Quote #1469
Gloria: [on the phone] I have a flat tire. I'm gonna call A.A. to get it fixed.
Jay: No, Triple-A fixes tires. A.A. is that alcoholic cult, makes your friends no fun anymore.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Oh, it's so hot. I can't wait to jump in that pool.
Lily: I never said I'd get in the pool.
Cameron: Okay, Lily, stop. You are an exotic Vietnamese beauty. Scarlett Johansson would play you in a movie until Twitter told her she couldn't.
Quote from Gloria
Lindsay: You're kidding. Another one?
Phil: I'm afraid so, Lindsay.
Sam: Who keeps taking our signs?
Gloria: Don't worry, Sam, we're going to find out. Miss, do you have any enemies? Are you in a blood feud?
Gloria: Have you recently joined a political opposition?
Quote from Kids These Days
Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!