Phil: Sorry, I'm, uh, a little on edge. I think I've been watching too much "Snapped." Um... can I ask you something? How much do we really know about Gloria?
Luke: The exotic stranger who just popped into our lives out of nowhere? I've had my suspicions about her for years.
[flashback:]
Gloria: [British accent] I shall need the parcel to arrive at my flat by tea time. Splendid, my good man. [normal voice to Jay] The British accent gets me better service. [British accent] Tally-ho!
[present:]
Luke: Her accent was flawless.

Phil: All right, then, time for my lecture on geological surveys. [beatboxing]
Bob: Uh, Mr. Dunphy?
Phil: Bedrock...
Bob: I'm sorry. Should we wait for Libby? She's not back from lunch yet.
Ike: Yeah, I heard she was riding her bike and then got hit by a car. Been taken to the hospital.
Phil: What?! That's terrible. I hope she's okay.
Gloria: [filing her nails] Yes, she should be more careful.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: In the crime show I've been bingeing, 9 out of 10 female suspects casually file their nails during police questioning. Was this my fault? Did I push Gloria too far? Had she... snapped?

Anne: Let's see, you said your daughter's doing research in Antarctica.
Claire: Yes.
Anne: Any chance we could meet the rest of the clan?
Claire: [chuckles] Um...
[aside to camera:]
Claire: Hell, no. This was for the cover of Corner Office Magazine. I mean, that's basically Vogue for female CEOs. Lately, my family has seemed more suited to a gator-farm billboard.