Phil Quote #1506

Quote from Phil in It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy

Phil: There's no sense in hiding it. I did buy a giant pumpkin.
Claire: I puzzled that one out.
Phil: You're right. I'm a Halloween-obsessed child-man.
Claire: Do you want to feel better? I took zombies to work, okay? And it died so hard. Oh, my God, to be pitied by Margaret.
Phil: I guess the kids are right. [sighs] It's time for us to start acting like adults. We can have dinner parties, see plays, open IRAs.
Claire: We have IRAs, right?
Phil: Rude awakening, Claire. You think you're the fun-loving dad, putting smiles on faces, keeping childhood alive. Turns out you're just the weird guy barreling down a driveway in a pumpkin-tank.

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Features in the collection: Halloween Quotes.

‘Halloween Quotes’

Quote from Phil in The Last Halloween

Phil: [aside to camera] It was simplicity itself. A year ago, Claire accused me for the millionth time that I couldn't scare her, so I came up with a plan. I'd just sold a house to a European couple that weren't gonna take possession for a while, so, uh, last fall, "Ida Mae" moved in. Fortunately, the house was right on Claire's jogging route, so it was easy to introduce Claire to Ida Mae, and when I wanted to amp it up, I had Ida Mae make contact. Then, this morning... I knew that ax wouldn't scare Claire. I just did that so she'd accuse me of not being able to scare her.
[flashback:]
Claire: It's all about plausability.
[back:]
Phil: Damn right, it is. Over the past year, Ida Mae joined the neighborhood association, hung up a poster for her lost dog, signed up for Meals on Wheels. They're not bad, by the way. Also, she got a lot of knitting done.

Quote from Cameron in It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy

Cameron: I'm trying to get Wi-Fi so I can watch the pumpkin weigh-in at the Halloween festival back home. You know, 25 years ago, I raised the largest Wichita Thumper, and the record still stands. I am so sorry. There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
Gloria: No, no, you just did fine.
Cameron: You know, as with every pumpkin, there's a story. It was a cold, bitter night, when tap-tap-tap on the window. Darn if it wasn't the vine of my pumpkin, just out there trembling away.
Gloria: That is a great story.
Cameron: Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin through the window, careful, of course, not to break the vine. And for months, it just became a part of our household. People stepping over it to get into the kitchen, blocked half the TV. We thought "The Brady Bunch" was just about three lovely girls. [chuckles] Oh, but nobody complained. Sure, I won Grand Champion, you know, and the right to name the next tornado. But the thing I remember most are the sacrifices [voice breaking] my family made for just me. That's how we do family where I'm from.
Gloria: [inhales sharply] That's how we do family where I am from!

 ‘It's the Great Pumpkin, Phil Dunphy’ Quotes

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: I'm trying to get Wi-Fi so I can watch the pumpkin weigh-in at the Halloween festival back home. You know, 25 years ago, I raised the largest Wichita Thumper, and the record still stands. I am so sorry. There's no way to say that that doesn't sound braggy.
Gloria: No, no, you just did fine.
Cameron: You know, as with every pumpkin, there's a story. It was a cold, bitter night, when tap-tap-tap on the window. Darn if it wasn't the vine of my pumpkin, just out there trembling away.
Gloria: That is a great story.
Cameron: Next thing I know, Daddy's pulling the pumpkin through the window, careful, of course, not to break the vine. And for months, it just became a part of our household. People stepping over it to get into the kitchen, blocked half the TV. We thought "The Brady Bunch" was just about three lovely girls. [chuckles] Oh, but nobody complained. Sure, I won Grand Champion, you know, and the right to name the next tornado. But the thing I remember most are the sacrifices [voice breaking] my family made for just me. That's how we do family where I'm from.
Gloria: [inhales sharply] That's how we do family where I am from!

Quote from Jay

Jay: You got to remember, this was the '60s. Competition in the closet game was fierce, everybody chasing after the next big storage idea. Historians remember this period as the "space race."

 Phil Dunphy Quotes

Quote from En Garde

Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot

Quote from Hit and Run

Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.