Cameron: No, okay, not happening. I'm having flashbacks. I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I was kid, I fell into a well.
Mitchell & Cameron: [together] It happened the same day as baby Jessica, but she got all the press.
Cameron: It still stings. Everybody loves a baby, but not one single prayer for a husky teen who's stuck head-first in a well for the better part of an hour.

Mitchell: Or you could just get your head checked so we don't lose you over some stupid fear.
Cameron: Do you know what I went through in that well on October 14, 1987, while the whole world was focused on that media whore Jessica?
Mitchell: She was a baby, but yeah.
Cameron: It was hell. And I would not have survived if those firemen wouldn't have figured out a way to lower my little Aunt Edna into that well and touch my feet and tell me it was gonna be okay and that I wasn't alone.

Phil: Breathe it in, girls. My journey begins today. Finally bringing something into this world I can be proud of.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: As children, the Wright Brothers dreamed of flying machines. Oprah dreamed of hiding presents under chairs. And I dreamed of building something magnificent. Well, recently, Jay and I bought a vacant lot on which we are building Dunphy Tower. What I wouldn't give to reach back in time to tell the 15-year-old dreamer who drew this, "We did it, kid."