Modern Family - Jay Quote #1006

Quote from Jay in The Party

Jay: I remember my first big perk for a job well-done. I had upgraded some closets for guy who created "ALF." And six weeks later, I'm watching the show. There's ALF sassing this handsome mailman named Jay Pritchett. I still got it on Betamax.
Gloria: I remember. You showed it to me on our first date.

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Features in the collection: Closets Closets Closets Closets.

‘Closets Closets Closets Closets’ Collection

Quote from Jay in The Cover-Up

Manny: You two need each other. It's what drives you.
Earl: The kid is right. Beating you is half the reason I get out of bed. Locking horns. We made each other better than I ever thought we could be.
Jay: Pushed each other to greatness.
Earl: We touched the sky.
Manny: We're talking about closets here, right?
Jay: Oh, I'm sorry, you mean the sanctuary where a man dons his armor in the morning and takes stock of the battle at night?!
Earl: The one thing we all have in common; presidents to postmen, tycoons to teachers, from sea to shining sea!
Manny: This is taking a weird turn.

Quote from Jay in Kids These Days

Cameron: [aside to camera] We're about to play for the city championship, and Jay here has been helping out.
Jay: I've been a team booster for years. Usually that means cutting a check from the Pritchett Cares Foundation. We support athletics and we educate at-risk youth about careers in closets. It's a real path out.

Quote from Jay in Australia

Jay: [aside to camera] Claire took the lead on her first project at the company and scored a big one. Best part is, she beat out that arrogant gasbag Earl Norton over at Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets. I wish I could see the look on his stupid face, face, face, face. [laughs]

‘The Party’ Quotes

Quote from Gloria

Claire: [aside to camera] I just got my first perk as C.E.O. of Pritchett's Closets. I finished a big job for a spa, and as a thank-you, they sent me a free weekend for two. Phil's too ticklish for massages, though.
Gloria: But I am not! I heard it's the place where all the stars go to get hot mud poured into their faces.
Claire: I just can't wait to see this one without makeup. [chuckles]
Gloria: You do, it will be the last thing that you will ever see.

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] I don't know why, but I've never tried marijuana.
Mitchell: No. No, me neither. Th- There was always something stopping me: needing to take care of Lily, the figure-skating honor code, not wanting to accidentally tell everyone in high school I was gay.
Phil: People never offered it to me, which is weird because in college, I was kind of a big man on campus. I founded a major organization, the National Association of Responsible Cheerleaders.
Mitchell: Uh, NARCs.
Phil: Yeah.

Quote from Luke

Manny: I think I'm gonna take the deal.
Luke: No! You cave, we don't stand a chance with those exchange students. Those girls don't respect weak, little nerds afraid of being punished by their mommies. They've lived through wars.
Manny: They're from Portugal!

Jay Quotes

Quote from The Bicycle Thief

Jay: [aside to camera] The key to being a good dad? Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don't. You got to hang in there. Because when all is said and done, 90% of being a dad is just showin' up.

Quote from Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.