Phil Quote #922
Quote from Phil in And One to Grow On
Police Officer: I'm sorry, but I have to place you under arrest.
Phil: Wait, what?!
Police Officer: A car registered to you has accumulated 18 unpaid parking violations, all on campus drive.
Phil: Oh, my God, those are my daughter's tickets!
Luke: He's got an answer for everything.
Police Officer: I got to take you down to the station house. [to Luke] You can ride up front with me.
Phil: Seriously, can't I just pay you for them now?!
Police Officer: At the station house, sir.
Phil: Can we at least not drive by Middle Earth comics and Trampoline World?! People look up to me in this town!
Modern Family Quotes
‘And One to Grow On’ Quotes
Quote from Claire
Alex: Hey, mom, can you take me driving? My test is coming up, and I really need to practice.
Claire: Oh, honey, I would, but I've got a big closets and blinds union meeting today.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: There is no closets and blinds union. Driving with Alex is torture. She drives so slowly. I have to be the only parent who slams on the imaginary gas.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Hey, honey.
Claire: Oh, you're just in time for breakfast.
Luke: Ooh, we should probably go light on the food. Something tells me we're not gonna want to do this on a full stomach. I can't believe there's such a thing as autopsy camp.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: There is no such thing as autopsy camp. I had to trick Luke 'cause I'm actually taking him to a ballroom-dance class. He's been resisting, but it's in his blood. I come from a long line of dancing Dunphys -- a kick line, actually.
Quote from Claire
Haley: Hey, I'm not doing anything. I guess I could take her.
Alex: Great! I'll go check the tire pressure and the fluid levels!
Haley: Fun! Can't wait! Be out in a sec! [to Claire] Okay, my rate just went up.
Claire: All right, but this buys your time and your silence. Alex can never know how much I hate driving with her. [horn honks] Mm, she's in a hurry today.
Haley: Oh, that's just step one of her nine-point safety test. Step two is checking the horn to make sure checking the horn didn't break the horn. [horn honks]
Claire: She should never drive.