Phil Quote #1802
Jay: Listen, i-is it possible that you're angry at Dylan for something more than today?
Phil: Well, he did take the last waffle this morning.
Jay: I think it's more about... he took your firstborn. Now, I've been there. It's only natural, you know. Us dads, we're very protective of our daughters, but, uh... In fact, you may get a very strong impulse to fly that plane right into the guy, but don't do it.
Phil: What? I-I would... I would never hurt Dylan. Why would you even think I'd have that impulse?
Jay: I don't know. I thought... you know, the way you were looking at him...
Phil: Wait. Is that what you were thinking 10 years ago? A-All this time, I thought it was my fault! I-I moved my head at the last second. But you hit me on purpose!
Jay: Don't be ridiculous! I just...
Phil: You just what, Jay? Thought it'd be fun to fly a plane into my face? What kind of monster does that to another human be... [Phil flies the plane into his own face]
Jay: Aw, no. [sighs] Look at this. [Jay picks up his plane]
Quote from Longinus
Longinus: Well, girl, come on in. Let's get you two drinks... one for each empty hand you showed up to the party with.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Okay, we still need wine, cheese, flowers... Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.
Cameron: Yeah, and we need a hostess gift for Longinus' Friendsgiving party. You know, she does not look kindly on an empty-handed guest.
Mitchell: [sighs] It's too much.
Cameron: I know. But what do you expect from somebody who changed their name from Larry Jones to Longinus St. Germaine?
Mitchell: No, I mean this list. Okay, we're only making it to my dad's by 4:00 if we blow off the hostess formerly known as Larry.
Cameron: No! His party's my favorite thing about Thanksgiving! Like, when we all go around the table and say one thing we're thankful for not wearing this year.
Quote from En Garde
Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot