Cameron Quote #1315
Cameron: Oh. My phone's in my pocket. Here, would you grab it? I can't get it.
Mitchell: Yep. Alright.
Cameron: Who is it?
Mitchell: Oh, it's from Jotham. "Just heard. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?" What's that about?
Cameron: I have no idea.
Mitchell: Oh, L'Michael. "Sending all my love, Camembert. Call me."
Mitchell: Artemis. "Ronaldo told me about you and Mitchell. Broken-heart emoji, tear emoji, Tammy Faye Bakker crying GIF."
Cameron: What did Ronaldo tell him?
Mitchell: No clue. I-I just saw him here, and he asked where you were, and I told him that we split up to shop and that... Oh, my God. He thinks we actually split up.
Cameron: Oh, and it's gone viral. Well, there are two things a gay can't sit on... a plastic patio chair and a juicy bit of gossip.
Quote from Longinus
Longinus: Well, girl, come on in. Let's get you two drinks... one for each empty hand you showed up to the party with.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Okay, we still need wine, cheese, flowers... Oh, we have to stop by the bakery.
Cameron: Yeah, and we need a hostess gift for Longinus' Friendsgiving party. You know, she does not look kindly on an empty-handed guest.
Mitchell: [sighs] It's too much.
Cameron: I know. But what do you expect from somebody who changed their name from Larry Jones to Longinus St. Germaine?
Mitchell: No, I mean this list. Okay, we're only making it to my dad's by 4:00 if we blow off the hostess formerly known as Larry.
Cameron: No! His party's my favorite thing about Thanksgiving! Like, when we all go around the table and say one thing we're thankful for not wearing this year.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.