Claire Quote #808

Quote from Claire in A Year of Birthdays

Claire: What is this?
Haley: It's an aromatherapy machine. See, you put in oils that are supposed to help you with the stress of the day.
Claire: Oh! Alright, well, let's see. So far, I have gotten a spa day, three massages, a meditation class, an ocean pillow, a rage bat, and a little machine that's supposed to trick my nose into calming me down. Why does everyone think I'm so tense?
Phil: You bit through your night guard.
Joe: You're squeezing me too hard.
Alex: And last week, you made the pharmacist cry.
Claire: That's because he wouldn't sell me any more Sudafed. The entire family was sick. I was not cooking meth.


 ‘A Year of Birthdays’ Quotes

Quote from Manny

Jay: This is from me and the boys. Gloria got you her own gift.
Claire: Wow, this is wrapped so nicely!
Manny: I did that. It's a lost art in this modern age where people simply click and ship gifts over the Internet.
Gloria: Papi, just be normal.

Quote from Phil

Phil: I've thought a lot about what's next.
Luke: 51.
Phil: Thank you, buddy. And it's important that I continue to grow and that I stay mentally challenged. Which is why I am starting...piano lessons, so that by next year's birthday, I'll be good enough to perform in public.
Jay: Oh, great. Another thing to go to.
Phil: Also, I'm gonna learn how to speak Spanish.
Gloria: Excelente!
Phil: Uh, I... I haven't started yet.

 Claire Dunphy Quotes

Quote from The Closet Case

Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.

Quote from Pilot

Claire: [aside to camera] I was out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.