Shorty Quote #19
Shorty: So, my ex-wife and I, we were on vacation with Jay and Gloria. They're walking down the beach, and my ex-wife says, "Whoa, look at all that skin." And I said, "Baby, come on." "What's wrong with that? She's a beautiful woman in a bikini." She said, "Oh, I'm talkin' about Jay's scalp." [laughter]
Quote from Manny
Jay: This is from me and the boys. Gloria got you her own gift.
Claire: Wow, this is wrapped so nicely!
Manny: I did that. It's a lost art in this modern age where people simply click and ship gifts over the Internet.
Gloria: Papi, just be normal.
Quote from Phil
Phil: I've thought a lot about what's next.
Phil: Thank you, buddy. And it's important that I continue to grow and that I stay mentally challenged. Which is why I am starting...piano lessons, so that by next year's birthday, I'll be good enough to perform in public.
Jay: Oh, great. Another thing to go to.
Phil: Also, I'm gonna learn how to speak Spanish.
Phil: Uh, I... I haven't started yet.
Quote from Sex, Lies & Kickball
Gloria: Shorty, you're kidding.
Shorty: I never joke when it comes to fruit. That miracle in your hand is a half plum, half apricot. There was a time they could only accomplish that in juice.
Quote from Bringing Up Baby
Miles: So 65, huh? You're heading into the best years of your life.
Shorty: That's right. You put in the work. You climbed the mountain. Now it's time to reap the rewards.
Jay: I guess you're right.
Phil: Sounds pretty good to me.
Shorty: You know, the more I look at you, the angrier I get that you don't got a beard.
Phil: I had a soul patch once.
Shorty: A soul patch? That's like a beard's crap.