Alex Quote #356

Quote from Alex in Commencement

Alex: [aside to camera] So we were done with classes, done with finals, and, like college seniors since the beginning of time, we decided to get a little nuts.
[flashback:]
All: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
[v.o.:]
Alex: Our classmate Ashish Chug hacked his key card to get us access to the restricted section of the library. We decided to read Alister's Last Theorem. Gottlob Alister wrote a proof showing that zero equals one. This rendered mathematics meaningless and drove him insane. According to legend, the same fate befalls anyone who reads and understands the proof.

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 ‘Commencement’ Quotes

Quote from Jay

Manny: And sorry if I'm distracted. It's cut day at CalArts. Half of the class isn't being asked back.
Gloria: Manny, my mother's intuition tells me that you have nothing to worry about.
Manny: It's just so cruel. I'm halfway to a playwriting degree and a minor in mask-making and they're just gonna throw me out on the street with no way to support myself?
Jay: As a wise man will say in about two hours, "Be grateful for the rocks life rolls in your path, for one day, you'll see them as stepping stones." I had that in my "maybe" pile. Trust yourself, Jay.

Quote from Alex

Alex: If mathematics doesn't matter, then no one can be certain of anything, and I've just wasted the last four... no, sixteen years of my life, and there's no point in me graduating!
Claire: Okay, I can tell that you're very upset, and you're probably really overtired from finals. But you are gonna regret it if you don't go to graduation. Look, I promise, whatever is bothering you, figure it out after the ceremony...
Alex: After?!
Claire: Yes.
Alex: "After" implies "before"! But if one minute ago is the same as zero minutes ago, then before is now and now is after!
Haley: Usually when I hear people talking like this, we're walking through a Taco Bell drive-through.

Quote from Jay

Jay: Hey, hey, hey, I was humiliated much worse than you. It was so unfair. A lifetime of service out the window. You think I don't see the faces of owls every night I close my eyes?
Joe: At least you've accomplished something they can tear down. I'm a fraud!
Gloria: You see what you did to your brother? Look at those sad, hurt eyes.
Jay: Like a sad little owl.