Manny: And sorry if I'm distracted. It's cut day at CalArts. Half of the class isn't being asked back.
Gloria: Manny, my mother's intuition tells me that you have nothing to worry about.
Manny: It's just so cruel. I'm halfway to a playwriting degree and a minor in mask-making and they're just gonna throw me out on the street with no way to support myself?
Jay: As a wise man will say in about two hours, "Be grateful for the rocks life rolls in your path, for one day, you'll see them as stepping stones." I had that in my "maybe" pile. Trust yourself, Jay.

Alex: [aside to camera] So we were done with classes, done with finals, and, like college seniors since the beginning of time, we decided to get a little nuts.
[flashback:]
All: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
[v.o.:]
Alex: Our classmate Ashish Chug hacked his key card to get us access to the restricted section of the library. We decided to read Alister's Last Theorem. Gottlob Alister wrote a proof showing that zero equals one. This rendered mathematics meaningless and drove him insane. According to legend, the same fate befalls anyone who reads and understands the proof.

Jay: Hey, hey, hey, I was humiliated much worse than you. It was so unfair. A lifetime of service out the window. You think I don't see the faces of owls every night I close my eyes?
Joe: At least you've accomplished something they can tear down. I'm a fraud!
Gloria: You see what you did to your brother? Look at those sad, hurt eyes.
Jay: Like a sad little owl.