Jay: [aside to camera] Every winter, I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies specifically to see a bald eagle. So far, no luck. This year, my buddies bailed: back spasm, cracked hip. And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair. I was all set to go solo, when those three tagalongs invited themselves. They invaded my territory like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers.

Gloria: [to Claire] Way to rock it, girlfriend!
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: I cannot deny it anymore. I am turning into a white woman.

Phil: Pair of 7s.
Jay: Ace high.
Cameron: Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul, a pair of black queens.