Gil Thorpe Quote #28
Mitchell: Twenty years ago, I was in this bar, feeling just like you do. And this really nice guy came up to talk to me. I-I think he could see how lost and alone I was. And, I don't know, it felt like my whole world opened up that day. [chuckles]
Gil Thorpe: Wow, that's a touching story. So when are we gonna start touching?
Mitchell: I'm sorry, what?
Gil Thorpe: I say we head out to the parking lot, get a little crazy in my ex-wife's minivan, huh?
Mitchell: No! No, gross!
Gil Thorpe: Fine, Prince Harry. I'll pop for a hotel room. But that means we're doing everything.
Mitchell: Okay. Y-You're awful! Well, at least I'm not a tease. What a waste of an afternoon. [to another guy] Hey, I'm Gil. Just came out. Feeling kind of lost and alone.
Quote from Jay
Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!
Quote from Mitchell
Phil: You know, I'm as happy now as I've ever been. And look, we're in Yucaipa. That sounds like how Ewoks talk.
Mitchell: I used to sneak off to a gay bar in Yucaipa before I came out.
Phil: Huh, you don't really think of gay bars as a small-town thing.
Mitchell: Oh, yeah. They serve your rural gays, your closeted gays, your city newbies looking to get their gay sea-legs, kind of like an out-of-town tryout before they hit Broadway.
Quote from Flip Flop
Gil Thorpe: Dunphy, I'm not gonna lie to you. You guys did a nice job on the house. My buyer wants in.
Phil: Fantastic! That is great news! You know, when we first got into this-
Gil Thorpe: Whoa, the small talk's over. Here's what we're prepared to offer.
Phil: You're joking, right?
Gil Thorpe: I don't joke about real estate. I joke about golf and Mexicans. It's okay, though. I'm married to one.
Quote from Flip Flop
Phil: [on the phone] Gil! Phil Dunphy.
Gil Thorpe: Ha ha ha! I knew you'd come slinking back! [to the other golfers] Hey, guys! It's Dunphy. He's cavin'. What did I tell you? What did I tell you, hey? [on the phone] Oh, Dunphy, I can play you like a ukulele, 'cause you're small and dainty.
Phil: Gil, I wanna talk to you about your offer.
Gil Thorpe: Oh, ho! Let me stop you right there. This is how this is gonna go down. First of all, I'm gonna take you out to a very nice dinner. I'm gonna talk really sweet to you. And then I'm gonna lay you down by the fire...
Gil Thorpe: Slow at first, then... And then you're gonna go home and tell everybody you went to the movies, but you and I both know that you got thorpedoed.