Phil Quote #1606
Claire: Still, meeting a parent is a major relationship milestone.
Phil: Claire, you're getting my hopes up, and I still haven't recovered from Andy. And don't even get me started on Dylan. I get nostalgic every time I see someone sleeping in their car.
Quote from Haley
Haley: Oh, gosh, I guess your name must still be in my phone as my emergency contact. I use boyfriends to avoid lectures from my parents. I don't want to wake up in a Tijuana prison and them be all like, "You're grounded."
Quote from Gloria
Fred: The stroke may have scrambled some of Becky's memories.
Mitchell: So she doesn't remember me coming out?
Fred: Correct. And now presumes you're straight. That part I can't explain.
Phil: [quietly] Have you tried popping her on the noggin?
Jay: She's not a jukebox, Fonzie.
Gloria: And besides, it doesn't work. It only made my uncle worse. He never woke up.
Quote from Hit and Run
Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.
Quote from En Garde
Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot