Pam: There's a box out here marked fruit of the month. I'm assuming that means one of you won a contest.

Jay: [aside to camera] She was the perfect secret weapon. We send her upstairs to freshen up, just before the movie starts, we drop the Dede bomb. Gloria's flustered, off her game, she doesn't even pay attention to the film.
Manny: You still got it. And to think I was worried last night when you kept trying to turn on your phone flashlight and ended up taking 30 pictures of your angry face.

Mitchell: [aside to camera] So, Pam's moving back home after living in our upstairs unit for like three years.
Cameron: Uh, okay, it's been a year and nine days, and she chopped us all that wood. Plus, she's taking Lily back to see my parents. It's birthing season so she gets to name her first pig. Oh, and then we slaughter it on her 13th birthday. There's prayers and dancing. It's not unlike your standard bar mitzvah.
Mitchell: Except a lot more pork and a lot less Jews. Anyway, we're excited to have the house to ourselves again.