Jay Quote #1288

Quote from Jay in Royal Visit

Joe: I can't wait to tell everyone how cool you guys are!
Jay: We're not cool, Joe. That's not what people do when a policeman pulls them over. In fact, there's nothing cool about us.
Gloria: Well, I don't think we should be lumped into [siren chirps]
Jay: Lights! Joe, there are more important things than being cool.
Joe: Uh, like what?
Jay: Look, the point is, Joe, we love you too much to let you think dumb moves like this are okay.
Joe: So, what do we do now?
Jay: We're gonna do the right thing. [later:] Officer! Uh... Where's Cinnabon?

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 ‘Royal Visit’ Quotes

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] Haley's dating this genius astrophysics professor who's somehow making her smarter because, last week, I called Pluto a planet and Haley laughed at me. In pity. Haley.
Claire: Haley.
Phil: Haley.

Quote from Phil

Claire: Do we think that Haley is suited to a professor, because I more saw her with a Gilligan type?
Phil: Come on, now. Lots of happy couples aren't the exact same level of smart.
Claire: That's true. We work.
Phil: Yeah. Wait. When you say, "We work," do you think you're smarter than me or I'm smarter than you?
Claire: I think I'm smart enough not to have this conversation.
Phil: Oh, my God! You do! You think you're smarter than me! Okay, hotshot. How many patents do you have? Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun, Polite Car Horn that'll put an end to road rage. [high-pitched] Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: Wow. Henry's dad did such a great job with the birthday party for the kids, huh? "Henry's dad".
Jay: "Henry's dad". I took Joe to see "African Queen" in CinemaScope.