Claire: Oh, God. Honey, are you sure you're okay? It's Saturday night. You're drinking wine in your bathrobe with a come-from-nowhere cat.
Alex: What's wrong with that? Take away the cat, and I'm basically you.

Rainer Shine: My God, look at those winds. They must register at least a on the Beaufort Scale. Think of all the sun roofs left open. Think of all the freshly blown-out hair de-volumizing. How could I not see this coming?
Haley: Rainer.
Rainer Shine: Is this the only thing I was off about today?
Haley: What do you mean?
Rainer Shine: Well, let's face it, Haley. I did not think this through. I mean, where are we gonna live? My place only has one walk-in closet, which would stay mine. And how's my daughter gonna feel about us getting married? Are you gonna want to have children? Can I even have more children? [whispering] I've spent a lot of time in tanning beds.
Haley: Um, I think you're spinning a little. Look, sometimes when I'm reorganizing my closet, I feel overwhelmed, like I'm never gonna get through it all. So I force myself to look at things in smaller sections. I arrange five pairs of shoes at a time. Twelve hours later, I'm done. So, that's what we'll do. We'll take things five years at a time.
Rainer Shine: In five years, I'll be 50.
Haley: What?
Rainer Shine: What did you think 45 + 5 plus was?
Haley: Well, until today, you were 44, which I had basically convinced myself was 40, and now suddenly we're talking about 50, which is basically 60.

Mitchell: Cam, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me. If we're gonna have any chance of getting to Dallas and then surviving there, we are going to need hats.
Cameron: Hats. Hats.
Mitchell: Excuse me, sir, sir, sir, sir, are you the proprietor of this haberdashery? Can you point me in the direction of your finest sports caps?
Sales associate: What team?
Cameron: Gay. I'm not sure why that's relevant.