Cameron Quote #1031
Cameron: Well, we have to find out. As her uncles, we need all the information we can so we can advise her properly.
Mitchell: Yeah. She's dating an older man. If she's uncomfortable, it's our duty to protect her.
Cameron: Okay. So we said all that. What could be "ca" be? Hmm? Carrot? Cupping? [gasps] You don't think it could be a Canadian long jump, do you?
Mitchell: Okay, what part would a woman play in that?
Quote from Jay
Jay: [aside to camera] I don't like to talk about it a lot, but I have a certain expertise in timber. Even blindfolded, I can tell a Galapagos teak from a Maltese cherry. Came in handy for a cop friend of mine. Helped him round up the Cedar Boys.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: You know, I'm glad we're doing this again.
Alex: Yeah, I think we just put too much pressure on it the first time.
Cameron: You know, humans aren't the only ones who respond badly to pressure. Did I ever tell you about the day without eggs? It was at the start of the Omelet Days Festival. Up with the sun, I grab my basket, into the hen-house I go. Thirty-four hens, nary an egg. I know, I know. My grandpa said it was the worst case of avian anxiety he'd seen since Pearl Harbor. That's when they had to take the radio out of the coop.
Quote from Jay
Joe: I spilled juice on the rug. Please don't tell Mama.
Jay: Don't tell Mama?
[aside to camera:]
Jay: What about, "Don't tell Papa?" A boy is supposed to fear his father. I shook in my boots around my old man, just like he did around his. To this day, I hear the crack of a Schlitz or smell some Singleton's Beard Tonic, and I'm sweating like a mob rat in Little Italy.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.