Cameron: Oh, my God, I hate pranks so much. Now I'm gonna spend the whole dance paranoid wondering what they're gonna do. Is it gonna hurt? Am I gonna cry?
Mitchell: You're a clown. Isn't that mostly just pranking people?
Cameron: No, it is not. Clowns are loving and joyful. You know what? I was warned about this kind of ignorance.
Don't make me regret marrying outside the big top.

Phil: How about ice cream?
Jay: Too cold.
Phil: Coffee?
Jay: Too late.
Phil: Oh, wait a minute. I'm such an idiot. I forgot about the Clint Eastwood retrospective followed by the scotch tasting where famous athletes from the '70s tell stories about how life used to be in Youngstown.
Jay: Really?
Phil: No! It doesn't exist.

Phil: Okay, we could go bowling.
Jay: Hmm. Had my league last night. I'm a little bowled out.
Phil: Fair enough. Round of mini golf?
Jay: Great idea. Wait up. I'll go get my frog and my slingshot. We'll hop on our bikes and go down there.
Phil: We could get something to eat.
Jay: Already ate.
Phil: Go to the movies?
Jay: Hate the lines.
Phil: How about a bar?
Jay: So, we drive across town, pay a 200% markup on the same glass of scotch I'm holding in my hand right now just so some drunken old broad can stagger over and tell me I look like Ernest Borgnine.