Modern Family - Gloria Quote #628
Joe: Thank you for bweakfast.
Gloria: You're welcome, sweetie. [sighs] Did you hear that? "Bweakfast." It's a good thing that we're taking him to speech therapy. I want everybody to understand every single thing he says. [thick accent] Do you want marmalade on your brioche toast?
Jay: Not a clue.
Quote from Gloria
Jay: You're probably right to nip that speech problem in the bud. Mitchell had a lisp we let slide. Now we got a lifetime of "What if?"
Gloria: That is so offensive. A lisp doesn't make you gay. Being gay makes you lisp.
Quote from Lily
Mitchell: Hey, I have an idea. Let's think of something we can all do together, okay? Just the four of us.
Cameron: Anything you want.
Mitchell: Absolutely anything.
[aside to camera:]
Lily: Three years ago, they gave me an "absolutely anything," and I wasted it on a Popsicle. That was not gonna happen again.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Oh, thank God. I smell coffee. This morning has gotten off to a bit of a... Rocky Horror Picture Show. What did you do to your face?
Phil: Just a little color to make my eyes pop. Like yours are now.
Haley: Is this how we find out you're transitioning? Oh, please don't pick a young name. The world doesn't need a 50-year-old Jasmine.
Phil: Trust me, this'll look completely normal on camera.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: This just in. I'm gonna be on the news. They're doing a segment on the real-estate market, and I'm their local expert. Back to you, Claire.
Quote from Unplugged
Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
Quote from Hit and Run
Jay: Uh, this stupid kid's been in the business about ten minutes. He barely looks at my proposal, and he says he wants more "Wow."
Gloria: What does he mean by more "Wow"?
Manny: It's the "Bieber-ization" of America.
Jay: What do beavers have to do with anything?
Gloria: The beavers, they build the dams all over the country so there's no floods, is the "Beaver-ization" of the Americas.
Manny: I'm finding there's less and less we can talk about.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.