Claire Quote #537
Claire: Can you believe how conscientious our little girl has become? Racing off to work on a Saturday. There's a 30% chance she thinks it's Friday, but still...
Quote from Gloria
Jay: [aside to camera] So, this year, we're surprising the family with a trip to Miami. The travel company needs everybody's driver's license to book the flight. That's where "sticky fingers" here comes in handy.
Gloria: Everybody has a bad cousin that teaches you a few things. Like how to smoke, how to pick-pocket, how to hot-wire a car, how to put tacks on your shoe when you want to throw off a-a lie-detector test.
Jay: Which cousin was this?
Gloria: I am the cousin.
Quote from The Closet Case
Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.
Quote from Pilot
Claire: [aside to camera] I was out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.