Gloria: We have to get rid of Stella.
Jay: Slow down. We haven't decided anything yet.
Gloria: Yes, we have. It's what's best for Joe.
Manny: And for whatever it's worth, my eyes have stopped itching, I can taste my food, and I have more energy.
Jay: You took a three-hour nap yesterday.
Manny: I was tired from the marathon.
Jay: The "Downton Abbey" marathon?

Phil: Andy, 36 hours to the open house. You ready?
Andy: I was born ready. Actually, that's not true. I was two months premature, weighed three and a half pounds.

Manny: You know, now that I think about it, I could be allergic to Stella. I've been a little stuffy since we got her.
Jay: You were stuffy long before Stella. Do you not remember scolding that waiter at Chuck E. Cheese for serving you from the right?