Jay Quote #794

Quote from Jay in Haley's 21st Birthday

Jay: [aside to camera] Leaving Phil with a car salesman is like covering a baby goat in barbecue sauce and dropping it in the middle of the Serengeti.

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‘Haley's 21st Birthday’ Quotes

Quote from Lily

Lily: When I grow up, I want to have kids. Well, first, I want a perfect husband. Someone who takes care of me. And then we're gonna make a baby. Which is easy. You just put eggs and tadpoles in a glass, and the woman has to drink it. Then, the woman and man kiss and jump on their bed. After a year, she pees, and a baby comes out.
Luke: Wow.
Alex: Oh, my God.
Manny: Okay, then.

Quote from Luke

Lily: So, do you know how babies are made?
Luke: Yep, and I'll tell you. But first, we're gonna need a pen and a bagel.
Lily: Why?
Luke: Well, you're gonna need to take notes, and I'm hungry.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: [aside to camera] There is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle.
Cameron: Or guncle.
Mitchell: Giving a gift to a niece as hip and chic as Haley.
Cameron: In the 10 years that we've been together, we've only missed the mark one time.
Mitchell: Yeah, when Claire told us what to buy, but we learned our lesson. Ignore Claire and trust our gay instincts.
Cameron: Or "ginstincts."
Mitchell: Too much.

Jay Quotes

Quote from Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.

Quote from The Bicycle Thief

Jay: [aside to camera] The key to being a good dad? Look, sometimes things work out just the way you want. Sometimes they don't. You got to hang in there. Because when all is said and done, 90% of being a dad is just showin' up.