Gloria: Because he wasn't even trying.
Manny: I'm sorry, but Spanish just doesn't seem natural to me. I don't like the way it hits my ear.
Gloria: What could be more natural than your mother's tongue in your ear?

Andy: Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. Remember me?
Claire: Andy. Of course. Come on in. You are Joe's babysitter, right?
Andy: Uh, "manny" is what we call ourselves in the child care community. But it's confusing in that house because of their son Manny. So I've been trying to get traction with "bro-pair."

Gavin Sinclair: Nikki, thank God you're here. Peel this orange for me.
Haley: Mr. Sinclair, it's Haley Dunphy. I was supposed to see you for the assistant job. I have been studying your work, and I have to say the looks that you did for New York Fashion Week put you-
Gavin Sinclair: Ah! I'm really too busy right now.
Haley: But I drove all the way down here. We had an appointment!
Gavin Sinclair: Yeah, I looked at your blog. It's a little too cutesy for me. I need someone with edge.
Haley: I have edge.
Gavin Sinclair: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb. Thanks for coming by, though.