Modern Family - Phil Quote #1025
[asides to camera:]
Phil: We are having-
Haley: The most perfect summer-
Claire: Don't get me wrong, the Dunphys have had some great days. We just have a little trouble stringing them together.
Phil: Our record was eight consecutive blissful days, December 2007.
Claire: It was our Hanukkah.
Phil: This summer, all the Dunphys are just clicking.
Claire: Yeah, Haley and Luke are getting along, Alex is off building houses for the poor.
Phil: Which I know sounds awful, but she loves it.
Quote from Luke
Alex: What am I doing? I think I left my backpack in the driveway.
Haley: Stop kicking me!
Luke: You're kicking me! [door closes]
Haley: I'm sorry. I'm just fidgety today.
Luke: It's okay. A cookie might help. Here's that napkin you wanted.
Alex: [door opens] I got the mail!
Haley: Would it have killed you to give me one without ketchup on it?
Haley: You have room!
Luke: No, move out! You're 40!
Quote from Phil
Phil: You can't leave us. We're a danger to ourselves. We're a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.
Claire: It wasn't a perfect summer. It was a stupid summer. Without you here to shame me, I watched every "Real Housewives" episode and I only got to page two in "War and Peace."
Haley: Please stay.
Luke: We need at least one adult in this household.
Alex: Okay, fine. You know the attic window is open, right?
Phil: We really didn't.
Quote from Jay
Jay: This is unbelievable. The dry cleaner lost another one of my shirts. You know that nice, red-white-and-blue Hawaiian one?
Gloria: Yes, that was a very nice one.
Jay: That's the fourth Hawaiian shirt he's lost. I'm telling you, this is a "Dateline" story waiting to happen.
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?
Quote from Slow Down Your Neighbors
Phil: [aside to camera] I wish I were one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana.
Quote from Hit and Run
Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.