Phil Quote #979
Gloria: Ay, Rita, no. Phil is a friend of mine, and we're just killing time before an appointment.
Rita: I hate to ask, Gloria, but my new girl hasn't shown up. Any chance you could help?
Gloria: Ay, of course! It will be so much fun! Oh! I don't want to ruin my nails. Phil, would you do my shampooing?
Phil: Well, I-I guess so. We've got the time. Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college, and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear. Wow. That was super-braggy. What do we got, double sinks? What's the nozzle sitch?
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Oh, my gosh, it's us. For our wedding cake. Couldn't you just die?
Mitchell: I really think I could.
Cameron: My dad made this. He's a world-class soap carver. You know, once, when I was a kid, I cussed, and my mom washed my mouth out with the leaning Tower of Pisa. She still blames herself to this day.
Quote from Luke
Manny: You want to talk?
Luke: You're the dorky sidekick, not me.
Manny: Want to talk nicer?
Luke: How could you be invited and I wasn't?
Manny: I don't know. It's like the stuff that used to make me kind of weird, people are starting to like.
Luke: So? I'm the same as I always was.
Manny: Well maybe you could upgrade a little. Uh, we're tired of the Yoda voice, and if a girl tells you she went to London, maybe don't ask if she also saw France.
Luke: I liked things better when you were the one who was ostrich-sized.
Luke: You know, like a freaky outsider. The way an ostrich feels around regular birds.
Manny: You know what else girls like? The mysterious, silent type.
Quote from Hit and Run
Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.
Quote from En Garde
Phil: [aside to camera] What does it take to make a great salesman? It's no big secret. You just follow the ABC's of salesmanship: Always Be Closing. Don't Ever Forget Great Home Ideas Just Keep Lurking Mostly Nearby.
Often, People Question Realtors' Sincerity. Take Umbrage. Violators Will- Oh, shoot