Modern Family - Cameron Quote #700
Cameron: Oh, my gosh, it's us. For our wedding cake. Couldn't you just die?
Mitchell: I really think I could.
Cameron: My dad made this. He's a world-class soap carver. You know, once, when I was a kid, I cussed, and my mom washed my mouth out with the leaning Tower of Pisa. She still blames herself to this day.
Quote from Luke
Manny: You want to talk?
Luke: You're the dorky sidekick, not me.
Manny: Want to talk nicer?
Luke: How could you be invited and I wasn't?
Manny: I don't know. It's like the stuff that used to make me kind of weird, people are starting to like.
Luke: So? I'm the same as I always was.
Manny: Well maybe you could upgrade a little. Uh, we're tired of the Yoda voice, and if a girl tells you she went to London, maybe don't ask if she also saw France.
Luke: I liked things better when you were the one who was ostrich-sized.
Luke: You know, like a freaky outsider. The way an ostrich feels around regular birds.
Manny: You know what else girls like? The mysterious, silent type.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Hey! We got a package from my dad.
Mitchell: No air holes in the box. That's a good sign.
Cameron: Lily loved having that chicken.
Mitchell: One more time than she realized.
Quote from Mitchell
Cameron: Mitchell! It's gone!
Mitchell: What is?
Cameron: The cake topper. Lily, have you seen the little daddies you were bathing with earlier?
Mitchell: Ew. Don't say that.
Quote from Send Out the Clowns
Cameron: [aside to camera] This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor. For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.
Mitchell: "Professor Ringmaster"?
Cameron: It's a very prestigious title at Clown College. One step below Piemaster General.
Quote from Unplugged
Cameron: [affected accent] The tribe elders foretold that though I lay with fire-haired man, the giving hawk would bring us baby with her skin the color of sweet corn, which my people call maize.
Mitchell: Okay. Please stop.
Mr. Plympton: Well, uh-
Cameron: Knowledge is her sustenance. Like so much maize which, you'll remember, means corn.
Mitchell: What if I was a single dad?
Quote from Alone Time
Gloria: It's a bad time, Cam. Turns out, it wasn't the allergies. I feel terrible. You shouldn't be close to me. I don't want to get you sick.
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No danger of that. I have the immune system of a horse. When I was a kid, I needed a transfusion, and there was a mix-up with the vials. I've contacted Marvel Comics repeatedly, but they don't seem interested.