Claire: [aside to camera] With Luke and Haley, I'm on top of everything because they aren't. But Alex is so self-sufficient, I just sort of put it in cruise control. I've fallen asleep at the wheel, and now my little genius is covered in cake.

Dr. Clark: Well, uh, this is a process. You know, it takes some time. [Alex sighs] What- What are you thinking?
Alex: Nothing.
Dr. Clark: No, no. Go ahead. Tell me.
Alex: That maybe you're not up for this. I mean, no offense. You're just a lot older than you look on your website. Did you even have S.A.T.s when you were in High School or Asian kids?
Dr. Clark: Oh, no. No, no, no. But there were other things I worried about: Spanish inquisition, sailing off the edge of the world, learning how to understand fire.
Alex: Sorry.

Phil: Okay, everybody. Cake time!
Alex: Thank God. I really have to study.
Claire: Oh, sweetheart, can't you just take a minute to enjoy it? It's your birthday. You put too much pressure on yourself.
Cameron: I remember my sweet 16. I wanted a theme party. "Moonstruck" had just come out, but I hadn't, so-
Alex: No stories, no time. S.A.T.s.