Phil Quote #912
Luke: Then you're right! You've got to finish! You'll never use this thing in the garage! It's too drafty!
Phil: That's why I'm going to Canada, buddy. To avoid the draft!
Quote from Come Fly with Me
Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?
Quote from Hit and Run
Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.
Quote from Luke
Luke: [aside to camera] I'm in charge of the recycling. I'm supposed to bring it from the garage to the curb by 6:00 A.M. Thursday morning. I may have missed a few weeks. Maybe more than a few weeks. After a while, the pile just got so big, I couldn't bring it out the night before or people would ask questions. I don't need people asking questions.
Quote from Gloria
Pilar: This is your great-grandmother's recipe. If she could see you now, she would die again, because you're doing it wrong!
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: My mother has been here all week. I love her very much, but you know what they say: house guests start to stink after three days, like dead bodies.
Quote from Manny
Jay: What the hell is that?
Manny: A fiber-optic tree. It's way better for the environment than a real one.
Jay: Not if the environment is my living room.
Manny: Look, I admit, it takes some getting used to, but so did Greek yogurt. Now I can't even remember how the old stuff tastes.