Claire: [v.o.] Soldiers talk about that moment when they shut off, when the war finally wins. For me, that moment is four days into summer vacation.

Jay: What's all this? I said one suitcase.
Manny: I need choices, Jay.
Jay: Colombia's not one of your more formal nations. The guy on their money is sitting in a lawn chair.

Phil: We'll get our time. They're all going away at some point, right?
Claire: Yeah, Haley's got her beach trip, and Alex is doing habitat for humanity, and Luke has camp. If I remember, I think we have six hours totally kid-free on... Oh, the 14th.
Phil: Hey, if we moved Alex's flight, we could have, like ten or twelve hours.
Claire: Dream bigger, hot pants. Step aside.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear Claire, or fear how much I love her.
Claire: Aw.