Jay Quote #563

Quote from Jay in The Wow Factor

Jay: [aside to camera] Gloria and Manny left me alone with Joe, and it was great for about 20 minutes. Then the little bugger turned on me. I tried everything to calm him down. Bouncing. Bottle. Brightly colored objects. Bigger bottle. So I did the old "put him in the car" trick. But I could still hear him out there. I'm just kidding. I drove him to his little class, but he dozed off right before we got there. Or he took a page from the Jay Pritchett playbook: Saw the crap he was in for and pretended to be asleep.

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 ‘The Wow Factor’ Quotes

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: [speaking Spanish to Joe]
Jay: Careful. Keep that up, he'll have to hit "numero dos" when he calls the DMV.
Gloria: By the time he's old enough to call, it will be "numero uno."

Quote from Cameron

[aside to camera, together:]
Claire: For the last few months, Cam and I have been redoing a house together that we're gonna flip, and I have to say, it has been goin' great!
Cameron: We make an amazing team.
Claire: Yeah. The key is trust.
Cameron: Absolutely.
[aside to camera, separately:]
Cameron: The key is, I let Claire think she's in charge. I hide what I want in something bigger and more expensive. Then when she rejects that, we "compromise" on what I wanted all along. I call my method "the Trojan horse." You know how I got Lily? I asked Mitchell for triplets.

 Jay Pritchett Quotes

Quote from Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.