Phil Quote #771
Claire: I should check on the kids.
Phil: Haley took 'em to a movie. She's not even gonna answer.
Claire: I know, but, sweetie, I have a good reason to worry. Luke had that nasty nosebleed this morning, and Alex, as usual, fainted.
Phil: She's fine, and Dunphy men get nosebleeds. I told you this when we got married. It was in my vows.
Claire: I'm still a little unclear as to why you put them in your vows.
Quote from Dylan
Dylan: Can I say one short thing? I came to this house a broken man after my mom threw me out for her new boyfriend. And then I found out I was getting let go from the limo company the same night Haley goes to a party without me. So I had nothing and no one. And then you... [cries]
Cameron: Okay. Come on. Tell him.
Mitchell: Let him finish.
Dylan: I'm sorry. I mean, gay dudes have always been nice to me. I mean, super nice. But nothing like this. I guess what I'm trying to say is-
Mitchell: Oh, my God. He's gonna sing.
Dylan: [playing guitar and singing] So many years living life underwater Came up for air in the room of your daughter I never knew I would find my answer in my ex-girlfriend's uncles' house with the tiny pink panther.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Square knot. Impressive.
Phil: I can make any kind of knot. It's like I have a sailor in my mouth.
Quote from Phil
Claire: Clive Bixby, what a sexy surprise.
Phil: Quick question: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you- Uh, I'm gonna come in again.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: We are watching baby Joe on Valentine's day so my dad and Gloria can...
Phil: Make love.
Claire: Ew. Don't.
Claire: The point is, we are celebrating a day early.
Phil: So they can finally be intimate.
Claire: You've more than made that point.
Phil: I'm just saying it's a long wait after giving birth. Six weeks.
Phil: I couldn't keep my hands off this one for that long. I can only imagine what Jay's going through.