Modern Family - Phil Quote #759

Quote from Phil in Fulgencio

[as Luke carries out Phil's orders:]
Priest: Phil and Claire, as godparents, are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duties?
Both: We are.
Priest: Do you renounce Satan?
Phil: I do renounce him.
Claire: I do renounce him.
Priest: And all his works?
Phil: I do renounce them.
Priest: And all his empty promises?
Phil: I do renounce them.
Priest: Godfather, is it your wish that this child be baptized?
Phil: It is.

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‘Fulgencio’ Quotes

Quote from Luke

Luke: [aside to camera] I accidentally called my teacher "mommy." My "friend" Reuben went around and told everyone. "Oh, hey, Reuben, do you remember that class field trip to the zoo when the zebra rushed the fence and you peed your pants?" I didn't tell anyone, not even on the bus ride home when he had to sit next to mom-- Ms. Bockman! Damn it!

Quote from Phil

Phil: Hey, kids. How was your day?
[aside to camera:]
Phil: I knew the answer to that question. I'd had kind of a busy day going around solving everyone's problems. I started by going to see my buddy Stavros the florist. That's when I realized my kids didn't understand the concept of killing with kindness because they'd never seen it. So I decided I'd prove it to them by going on a huggacidal rampage.

Quote from Sonia

Sonia: [holding laundry basket] Where is the river?

Phil Quotes

Quote from Come Fly with Me

Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?

Quote from Slow Down Your Neighbors

Phil: [aside to camera] I wish I were one of those people who thrives on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana.

Quote from Hit and Run

Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.