Mitchell Quote #339
Quote from Mitchell in Yard Sale
Mitchell: Oh, every time. Every time he loses weight, he gets rid of his big pants. And then when he puts the weight back on, he has to buy them all new again. It's- It's a nightmare.
Jay: Just put the jeans in the car while he's in the house.
Mitchell: No, Dad! That's incredibly dis- I'm gonna do that. Yeah.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Yard Sale’ Quotes
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: [as Uncle Grumpy] Holy maracas! I think I sat on the right lap! Uncle Grumpy, we're in public. Ay, look at all those white faces! I see we made it over the wall. Uncle Grumpy, are you in a bad mood? Damn right I am! I just came from the movies. A whole day's pay to see "Basic Instinct." Oh. And what did you think? Basically, it stinked. You're so grumpy. Damn right I am! I just met the girl of my dreams. Ay, that's such great news. No.
She gave me the termites.
Jay: Gloria, I'm just gonna- Oh, jeez. I don't even wanna know what this is. I'm outta here.
Gloria: You're leaving?
Jay: Damn right. The only difference between this and a home invasion is I get to shoot people at a home invasion.
Claire: Oh, my God. She married her puppet.
Quote from Jay
Man: Hey, you got any bread? I wanna make sure this thing still works.
Jay: Yeah, that' not gonna happen.
Man: Oh, it doesn't have to be bread. I mean, I can get the information I need from, like, a bagel or a frozen waffle.
Jay: Look, kid, you're just gonna have to roll the dice on this one.
Man: I don't know. What's your return policy?
Jay: You return, I call the police.
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: Okay, we're not doing this.
Cameron: No. Well, now hold on. Just a minute. You know, when I was young and straight, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rock star. I'm not proud of it.
Mitchell: Ah, you're kinda proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations. He brought it up yesterday.
Cameron: Okay, how am I supposed to walk into a dry cleaner and not mention my girlfriend Wendy Jo Martinizer?