Gloria: Manny, I can take care of a baby. I took care of you.
Manny: Please. I was an anomaly. I self-potty trained.
[aside to camera:]
Manny: I just did not get the appeal of intentionally soiling one's pants. That said, I will admit to missing the kisses on my tummy.

Cameron: No, sir! No, she will always be Norma Jeane Baker to me.
Cat Lady: What is your point, exactly?
Cameron: That like the thrice-married starlet, this cat is being deprived a stable home.
Cat Lady: I'm sorry if you're upset.
Cameron: You're the one who should be upset, ma'am. We are animals lovers.
[In the background, Mitchell makes the car "dance" with the giant gorilla and elephant on the roof]
Cameron: That cat would've been on the receiving end of affection 24 hours a day, satisfying its every need would've been our top priority. Okay, in light of that tableau, I would like to take back the phrase "receiving end."

Cameron: [aside to camera] The giant stuffed elephant was a gift from our good friend Pepper.
Mitchell: Gay guys having kids is, it's relatively new, so our community has not yet learned how to modulate baby gifts.
Cameron: When Steven and Stefan had little Rocco, our friend Longinus sent over the whole cast of "Yo Gabba Gabba".
Mitchell: Now Rocco cries whenever he sees bright colors.
Cameron: I'm not allowed over there.