Cameron: What about the wedding? What if she says it there? She's like a ticking time bomb!
Mitchell: Well, what are we gonna do, cancel?
Cameron: Yes. Maybe we just call and say, "We're not going to any more weddings until the gays can get married."
Mitchell: Oh, so now we're political? We leave town on gay pride weekend because we don't like the traffic.

Alex: Mom, just be confident.
Claire: Mm-hmm? Based on what? I just lost a debate in my living room, and people think I'm unlikable.
Alex: That's just the word men use for powerful women because they feel threatened. So just forget everything else and be proud and powerful.
Claire: How did you get so smart?
Alex: I've always assumed adoption or baby switch.

Phil: [aside to camera] Busy day at the Dunphy compound. We have a wedding tonight, and this afternoon, Claire is debating Duane Bailey in the race for town council. And now the "weekly saver" says that some voters find Claire, quote, "angry and unlikable." To those voters, I say, "Wait till she sees this."