Cameron: Well, I had no idea. I had no idea I was surrounded by a bunch of quitters. This production was a joke until I introduced these children to the musical theater greats Bernstein, Sondheim. Years from now, some of these kids will still be talking about the way I Sondheimized them.
Mitchell: Ooh, I don't think that's a good way of saying... Okay.

Mitchell: Do you think that the kids are gonna be able to learn it by tonight? Maybe you should stick with something they already know.
Cameron: I knew this would happen! Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams?
Mitchell: I do not.
Cameron: You do it all the time. And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams! I heard it as soon as I said it. Just leave it alone.

Phil: Excuse me. I'm so sorry. I never do this with celebrities but are you by any chance the foxy mom in the new Horizon Realty ad?
Claire: Am I gonna regret doing that?
Phil: Did the Marlboro Man have any regrets?