Phil Quote #330
Quote from Phil in Our Children, Ourselves
Claire: I can't believe I fell asleep and you left. Alex is right. We're idiots.
Phil: Claire, stop it. Look. Our kid got the second-best grade in the class.
Claire: I know.
Phil: Dumb parents don't make kids that smart. She got the best of both of us.
Claire: Mmm.
Phil: Kind of like if you combined the jaw strength of a crocodile and the ink-spraying capabilities of an octopus you'd end up with something unstoppable.
Claire: But they did stop him in the end, didn't they?
Phil: "Her." And she laid eggs.
Claire: [gasps] Croctopi.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Our Children, Ourselves’ Quotes
Quote from Mitchell
Jay: I never realized you ever had sex with a girl.
Mitchell: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I kinda got around back then, actually.
Jay: More than one?
Mitchell: Please.
Jay: Well, there was Tracy. Who else?
Mitchell: Uh, Betty Rizzo.
Jay: Don't remember her.
Mitchell: Eliza Doolittle? Nellie Forbush?
Jay: These were classmates?
Mitchell: Well, some were older. Some were younger. Liesl and Gretl von Trapp. Sisters, obviously. Too far?
Jay: I'm not an idiot. You played that record night and day. Why would you tell me a thing like that?
Quote from Cameron
Mitchell: [aside to camera] Tracy was my high school girlfriend. Yes. Yes, it's true. I had girlfriends. Quite a few, actually.
Cameron: I too took my fair share of ladies to the henhouse. Literally I did take them to the henhouse. That's the only place you could get some privacy on a farm.
Mitchell: Really? What were these What were these girls' names?
Cameron: Oh, well, there was Nellie Forbush, Betty Rizzo, Eliza-
Mitchell: Doolittle.
Cameron: Yeah.
Mitchell: These are characters from musicals. You're so gay you can't even think of real girls' names.
Cameron: Kim McAfee. That's a real one.
Mitchell: Bye Bye Birdie.
Quote from Manny
Mrs. Hoffman: So, hey, how are you handling things, you know, with Jay?
Manny: What do you mean?
Mrs. Hoffman: Honey, your mom told us that Jay's, you know, a little off his game.
Manny: A little? It's hard to watch.
Mrs. Hoffman: Oh. It must be so frustrating for him.
Manny: Well, he does swear a lot. Oh. The worst is when he goes off into the woods. Oh, and when he drives- Oh, my God. Look out. I'm surprised he hasn't killed anybody yet.