Modern Family - Phil Quote #305

Quote from Phil in Dance Dance Revelation

Phil: [aside to camera] We like to think we're so smart and we have all the answers. And we want to pass all that on to our children. But if you scratch beneath the surface you don't have to dig very deep to find the kid you were. Which is why it's kinda crazy that now we're raising kids of our own. I guess that's the real circle of life. Your parents faked their way through it you fake your way through it and hopefully you don't raise a serial killer.

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‘Dance Dance Revelation’ Quotes

Quote from Cameron

Cameron: What else does it say?
Mitchell: Okay, well, this one says, "When my daughter bit her brother I put a pinch of pepper in her mouth. She cried and cried, but she never bit again." Smiley face.
Cameron: Oh, well, the smiley face makes it okay. I waterboarded our toddler. LOL.
Mitchell: All right, what do you suggest we do?
Cameron: That we log off the Spanish Inquisition Web site and handle this with love.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: There's a whole section on biting on this mommy forum.
Cameron: Oh, good. What does it say?
Mitchell: "My son was biting, so I got a stranger to yell at him. Being disciplined by someone else outside the family scared him into stopping."
Cameron: Idiots!
Mitchell: Cam.
Cameron: I am not hiring some hobo to come over here and traumatize my child. She's already prone to flashbacks, if you know what I mean.
Mitchell: Okay, you know she didn't fight in Vietnam, right?
Cameron: I don't know anything anymore.

Quote from Cameron

Mitchell: He's probably just confused. You know who I bet did it, though? Billy. Rhymes with "Lily." Plus, he is very aggressive.
Cameron: His babysitter is right over there. She's- She's not much of a disciplinarian. Because I can assure you if our child did something like this we would be on her like white on rice. And I know that sounds a little bit like a racial slur because we're white and she presumably likes rice but I didn't intend it that way.

Phil Quotes

Quote from Come Fly with Me

Phil: He's a little jumpy.
Claire: Oh, go figure. A teenage boy doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend's dad.
Phil: I thought we were past all that. I'm all about taking it to the next level.
Claire: Really? I thought you were all about keeping it real.
Phil: Yes, but the whole point of keeping it real is so you can take it to the next level. Did you really not know that?

Quote from Hit and Run

Phil: [aside to camera] I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women: Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams... Wait a minute.

Quote from Pilot

Phil: [aside to camera] I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I'm hip. I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face. You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so...