Phil Quote #289

Quote from Phil in Mother Tucker

Phil: Okay, but be gentle. Boys are surprisingly sensitive at that age.
Claire: Water polo girl story.
Phil: Yes, I'm gonna tell the water polo girl story! 'Cause it hurt! Mmm. Okay, so I'm working in the principal's office. She walks in, hair all silver from the chlorine tells me she wants her varsity jacket back. I tear up a little. Then I tear up a lot. I'm begging, I'm begging. At some point I realize I'm sitting on the button to the high school intercom system. Yuk it up, ladies. Wasn't funny then. Is not funny now. It was traumatic, Haley. Don't do Dylan like Linda "The Cannon" Concannon did me.

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 ‘Mother Tucker’ Quotes

Quote from Dylan

Claire: Come on in. How you doing?
Dylan: Not so good.
Claire: Hmm.
Dylan: I mean, everywhere I look I see her face.
Claire: Hmm.
Dylan: [whimper]
Claire: To be fair, Dylan, that is a family portrait.

Quote from Gloria

Gloria: Manny, let me see that screen. What did I tell you?
Jay: It's not his fault. I asked him to look. I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here.
Gloria: Yes, you do! That computer! You read it there, you think it here, you feel it here. You wanna feel better? There. [closes laptop] You're cured!
Jay: Give me 15 minutes, then tell Florence Nightingale I went to the hospital.

Quote from Alex

Alex: I'm just saying, she's never gonna get a job. And how do we know the right Middle Eastern businessman wouldn't treat her great?
Claire: I left my shopping list inside. For the record, we thought she could live with you.
Alex: Like I'm gonna tell any of you where I live.